Hola!
When I started this website, I never thought I’d go a month without publishing something.
I had been writing a lot, but what I’ve learned is writing and actually publishing are two separate activities, each one seeming like it takes the same level of effort as the other, even though that’s objectively not true. I think what this actually is is writing something I know I should and will publish takes so much more of my energy than writing something random in my notebook. I don’t know. Maybe it’s an illusion? Nevertheless, I do think I have to rid myself of that notion so I could publish more frequently.
I have so many things going on personally and professionally, and a lot of thoughts in the back burner that I can’t wait to jot down, explore, make sense of, and turn into a coherent thought that unlocks even more ideas. It’s so exciting, and the very reason why I started this website in the first place. But, I’ve put these thoughts aside because for the past month, I’ve been working really, really hard for this one thing that I can’t wait to share. In some ways, I feel like I’ve overprepared, but that’s how I’ve always rolled. “Magis” is a core philosophy that has been ingrained in me ever since learning about it in university. It means doing more, or doing things greater than is expected.
I just got news that I had been successful in my attempts to achieve this goal, and as much as I want to squeal in joy and excitement, I honestly just feel so tired from all of my hard work. Pretty sure I’m drinking those sleeping pills later tonight for the deep sleep I’ve been craving; ideally 13-16 hours, to make up for lost sleep. However, as soon as I wake up, I’d be greeted by important tasks that I can’t delay any further. With all of these things, I can’t get into a celebratory mood. The achievement hasn’t quite sunk in yet. I looked back on my old diary and had listed this goal to attain at 28 years old – I’m 2 years early baby! Is this my attempt to feel more jubilant? Perhaps, but it’s not working (yet). I know I’ll get there, though. Can’t miss that feeling.
Despite all of this going on, I still was able to catch some films. A few thoughts below! Oh, and follow me on Letterboxd for my immediate thoughts on films as soon as I’ve seen them (yes, I’m that girlie who, whenever the end credits roll, pulls up her phone, opens Letterboxd and writes a review). No shame here!
Eyes Wide Shut (1999), dir. Stanley Kubrick – 4.5/5
As far as Kubrick films go I’ve only ever watched The Shining, which is embarrassing as a self-proclaimed film enthusiast. I’ll never forget watching it as a teenager. I remember hitting play on the television at around 5PM, and as the afternoon fades into evening and my surroundings get darker, so does the film. Horror is such an underappreciated genre (by myself included), and it’s not treated with the same respect as, let’s say, a war film or a music biopic (see below) but it’s the only genre that can do what it does. Comedies can make you weep, dramas can make you laugh, but only horror (and maybe thrillers, to some extent) can send chills down your spine and send an eerie sense of dread for days on end. The Shining happens to be the best of the genre and one of the greatest films ever made.
Anyway, this is meant to be about Eyes Wide Shut, which is not a horror, but a quasi-erotic thriller about the struggle between the conscious and unconscious mind, which I find extremely fascinating. I’ve always strived to be aware of my unconscious (which I’m aware is a contradiction), as to better understand my true motivations and hidden desires, and to recognize the forces shaping my thoughts and actions. Therapy baby here, mama!
Bill, Tom Cruise’s character, assumes he understands himself and his marriage, but as he learns secrets from his wife Alice, played flawlessly by Nicole Kidman, and peels back the layers of their marriage, his masculinity, and ultimately, his ego, he realizes he knows far less than he thought. Eyes Wide Shut is a brilliant title because while Bill’s eyes are open, he is actually blind to the deeper truths surrounding him. Shit hit the fan really quickly.
Best thing about this film is hands down Nicole Kidman. Her performance is hypnotic and unsettling. It’s the kind of performance that haunts you in your dreams. I’ve been a big fan of hers and I’ve seen her in a lot of things, but this is the best I’ve ever seen her (do note that I haven’t seen To Die For yet, which, according to my favorite movie podcaster, is the best acting performance he’s ever seen). Her delivery of a pivotal monologue is the emotional DNA of the film, a moment where the film’s psychological tension hinges upon. She’s fabulous. She delivers the closing line of the film so seductively, too, if I may add.
One nit to pick in the film is having to suspend disbelief about Tom Cruise’s sexual desirability (or lack thereof in this film). I am a huge Tom Cruise stan (or apologist, some might say) and it’s awesome that he has the exact mental illness that serves to endlessly entertain me (and by that I mean his life-defying stunts and relentless dedication to his roles). Too bad he thinks psychiatry is a farce (good for me and the rest of his fans, though.)
Mickey 17 (2025), dir. Bong Joon-Ho – 3.5/5
And to our Asian king, Bong Joon-Ho! Unlike Eyes Wide Shut, this film didn’t stay in my mind for a long time. My thoughts upon seeing it remain.
Loved that the film explored themes of exploitation and capitalism (as expected of Bong) through the lens of identity and selfhood, showing what it means to be replaceable and questioning whether individuality exists in a system that treats human lives as disposable resources.
Unfortunately, I don’t think the film explored these themes with the depth and nuance they deserve, especially during the last act. Loved the idea of having two polar opposite versions of yourself despite belonging to the same person. The duality of man, indeed, but this concept was underdeveloped too.
Still liked it overall, and it’s worth seeing just for the first two acts, the performances of Pattinson, Ackie, and Ruffalo, and the Bong Joon Ho signature brand of humor (sharp social satire 🤝 absurdity)
Observation: Bong’s English language films pale in comparison to his native language films. His genius in storytelling almost seems to be interwoven with his native language and culture. I find it relatable as a bilingual (I say, as I write this review in my second language).
A Complete Unknown (2024), dir. James Mangold – 2.5/5
They picked a fitting title for the film… A Complete Unknown.
As a Gen Z-er actively expanding my musical palate this year, I walked in the theatre hoping to know more about Bob Dylan, but I walked out with the same (limited) information I already knew beforehand. That he is an enigmatic, unknowable figure who happens to be one of the greatest songwriters who ever lived. And that he received pushback for going electric.
I wish that it revealed more about his motivations for writing songs, his genius, and what made him such an important figure that he won a Nobel Prize for Literature. To be fair, I don’t know how they could have executed that well without seeming too on-the-nose, as Bob Dylan himself is recluse. The proper way to do this is perhaps to let the music to speak for itself. But why make this biopic, then? Who is this for? If this is for the Dylan heads, I imagine they’d rather watch old clips of his performances and old documentaries. If it’s for somebody like me, a music lover hoping to learn more about him and his music, then I can’t imagine anybody else learning more than what already is common knowledge.
I wish I took away more from the film, but it didn’t really spark anything in me. It didn’t compel me to go through his vast and beautiful catalogue. I don’t know if that’s the film’s fault or that it’s just not my genre or style of music. If anything, I was impressed by Timothee’s seamless transformation into Dylan, but I already knew that I would be. It’s nothing but a concert film where they played songs I already loved or am at the very least, vaguely familiar with. And they’re great songs. But I fear that this film offers nothing but that. Spotify and Wikipedia could have done the things this film did for me.